i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
