this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize