The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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