just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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