that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
