i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm like, not good at living.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
