You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
