I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
