Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
