I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
