you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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