No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
