some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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