Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
