i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
