I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
