That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
