don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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