he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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