dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
