Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
