My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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