I could have mohawked her pubes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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