matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
