I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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