I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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