sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
