yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
