I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
