Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
