i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
