is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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