too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
