Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
