so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
