In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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