You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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