You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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