is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I party with great urgency now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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