There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
