It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I need moral support for this bender
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
