4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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