How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
