Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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