You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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