The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
