Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
