I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
