Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
