just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
