Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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