Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
