I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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