bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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