I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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