so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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