Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I cannot find my penis.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
