u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
