I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
