Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
